Stuck in the Middle
by Tua Mater
Summary: Napoleon Dynamite is enwrapped in a comedic drama between two college roomates, Samantha and Gena. Will Samantha find an unexpected surprise at the end? Chapter 4 completed!
1. Chapter 1

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" yelled Gena, running out of the bathroom in the dorm room she shared with her friend Samantha.

"What, what?" asked Samantha, annoyed. She was already up and making breakfast.

"I…I…" Gena's lower lip began to tremble.

"What!" yelled Samantha.

"I…broke a naaaaaail!" wailed Gena.

"Oh dear Lord, the world is ending." said Samantha sarcastically.

"So, do you have anything that can help?" asked Gena in a scared voice.

"There are some Band-Aids in the medicine cabinet." replied Samantha, waving her off.

"Thanks honey!" Gena said.

"Yeah, yeah." Samantha mumbled. She really didn't like Gena. She had been insanely jealous of her in high school, when Gena was beautiful, popular, and loved by all, while Samantha had been considered ugly and a loser. Now Gena was a rich little spoiled daddy's girl and was so, well, preppy. Ugh….thought Samantha. Why must she live with me?

Just then the phone rang, but Samantha didn't pick it up. She wanted to see who it was first. When whoever called started to leave a message, she heard a male's voice.

"Hey Samantha. I don't know if you remember me, but we went to high school together. We ate tots together, and gosh, we had lots of fun doing sweet jumps on my bicycle. Give me a call, k bye!" the voice said hurriedly.

Oh my gosh, thought Samantha. That voice sounds so familiar…

gasp

It's Napoleon Dynamite!

Samantha did go to high school with him. Napoleon was a dork, and Samantha only hung out with him because she felt sorry for him. He had a stupid afro and huge glasses, and he smelled like llama. Suddenly, Samantha got an idea.

"Hey Gena!" she called.

"Yeah?" asked Gena, who walked out of the bathroom with a nicely bandaged finger nail.

"I got this message from a guy I used to know. I'm not interested in him anymore, but you might be. He's a real hottie, and I know you would love him. He's just your type. What do you say, should I set you two up on a date?" Samantha asked, smiling wickedly.

Gena didn't notice the evil behind it.

"Sure! What's his name?" she asked, excited.

"Oh, uh…" Samantha stammered. She didn't want to say his real name because Gena might remember who he was. "Uh…Nathan. He's a real keeper." she said at last.

"Well ok. Just tell me when and where, and I'm there!" exclaimed Gena as she went to the bathroom to take a shower.

"Oh, I will Gena, I will." chuckled Samantha to herself as she poured herself some coffee. This was the perfect plan to ruin Gena's life. Mwahahahahahaha!


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Napoleon, it's Samantha." She whispered into the phone while lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Gena was off at Cheerleading practice, but she still didn't want to take a chance and have her overhear incase she came back early.

"Samantha, gosh! I'm glad you called me back. I was just thinking of that dress you wore to homecoming…remember, the one with the big sleeves? It was awesome." said Napoleon, blissfully unaware of Samantha's plot.

"Oh…yeah. Wow, I haven't seen you since you went off to college." Samantha said, pretending to care.

"Your mom goes to college!" Kip yelled in the background.

"Kip, shut up! Gosh, idiot! Why do you have to listen to my phone calls? Sorry about that Samantha." Napoleon apologized.

"Oh, that's ok. Well anyway, I was calling because I have this friend that would really like to meet you. She remembers you from high school and can't wait to see you again." Samantha lied.

"Really? Sweet! But…I thought you and I could get together and get some tots down town or something." said Napoleon.

"Oh, but I have a boyfriend." Samantha said, which was a lie. "But my friend is single."

"Oh, ok. Do you think I can show her my wicked sweet nun chuck skills?" Napoleon asked.

"Uh, sure. Why not? Hey, you can meet her at the coffee house at 2 tomorrow, ok?"

"Thanks! You're freaking awesome Samantha! Too bad you're not coming…you're missing out on some great tots."

"Oh don't worry, I'll live. Well, bye." Samantha said, growing impatient.

"Bye!"

Samantha hung up the phone.

"Oh Gena!" Samantha yelled into her cell phone a few minutes later.

"Yeah?" Gena answered, sounding tired from her practice.

"Alright, it's all set. You're going to meet Nap--uh, Nathan tomorrow at the coffee house at 2. He can't wait to meet you!" Samantha feigned enthusiasm.

"Great! Look, thanks a lot Sam. I haven't had a date in ages. You're a real friend." Gena beamed.

"Yeah, uh, thanks." Samantha replied. Because she was so evil, she felt no regret in her plot. She hung up the phone.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh, I can't wait to see this hot guy!" thought Gena as she entered the coffee house at 2 pm the next day. There was a designated meeting spot, at the couch where her and her friends always sit. The big one, right in the middle of the place. When she approached it, she saw someone sitting there. "I hope it's him!" she thought.

"Nathan?" she asked as she approached the man sitting on the couch.

"No, gosh! I'm Napoleon." he answered.

"Are you sure?" Gena asked. This man was fine! Little did Samantha know that Napoleon had changed a lot over the years. Well, at least his looks changed. His afro was now a neat haircut, and he got contacts. His wardrobe changed as well, and he was wearing designer jeans with a good fitting thin brown sweater. He was _fine_.

"Yeah, duh. I would know who I am, gosh!" Napoleon replied.

"Oh. Because I'm supposed to meet some guy here at 2pm. His name is Nathan."

"Well I'm supposed to meet some chick here at 2. Gosh, what a coincidence."

"Really? Maybe I got the name wrong…though I could've sworn she said Nathan…" Gena trailed off.

"Hey, you wanna see my wicked sweet interpretive dance moves?" Napoleon asked.

"Uh, sure." Gena said.

Napoleon got up and bowed his head with his eyes closed, concentrating for a minute before he began. Then he looked up, brought forward his two hands, linking them at the thumbs with his palms facing him. He began to flap them, back and forth, back and forth, until his hands resembled a butterfly. He was finished after about 30 seconds.

"So what do you think? Aren't my skills sweet?" Napoleon asked.

"Yeah!" Gena exclaimed. So what if this guy was kind of weird, he was hot!

"Do wanna go see that movie about this awesome guy with cool non chuck skills?"

"Ok." Gena answered.

So Napoleon and Gena walked out of the coffee house together, the promise of a relationship hanging in the air.

"Noooo!" Samantha screamed from her hiding place behind the counter. She had been watching the whole thing, and she was horrified when she realized what just happened. Her plan backfired! What was to come of Samantha…how would she cope with her self pity? Was this all just a way to release her low self-esteem? Find out in the next chapter, coming soon!


	4. Chapter 4

"Napoleon, you're doing it again!" Gena exclaimed, frustrated with her date.

"What, gosh!" Napoleon countered.

"You're putting on all that stupid chap stick. Yuck!" Gena said as they entered the movie theater.

"Whatever, gosh."

The couple bought the tickets and chose two spots in the middle of the theater. When they sat down Gena said, "Napoleon, let's get to know each other."

" 'Kay." He answered without looking at her.

"Alright. Ask me a question." Gena smiled, excited that a really hot guy, though somewhat weird, was on a date with her.

"Uh…" Napoleon thought for a moment. "Do chickens have large talons?"

"What?" A confused Gena asked.

"Never mind, gosh!" Napoleon crossed his arms and stared at the screen, which was now beginning to show previews.

_What a dork! _Though Gena. _This isn't going to work out…I have to do something before things get too serious!_

Gena decided that she would end things with Napoleon. He was way too weird! She preferred the jocks, the tough guy. Not some wimp. She waited until after the movie and when they were in the parking lot to say something.

"Uh…Napoleon?" Gena asked as Napoleon fumbled with his car keys.

Napoleon sighed as he said "Yesssssssssssssssssssssssss?" still unable to get the door open.

"Uh, we need to talk. I've had a great time, really I did. You're, uh…" Gena tried to think of a characteristic she could give Napoleon. Smart? No. Funny? Definitely not. She had it. "…you're very special Napoleon. And I think-"

"Look Gena. You're nice and all but we shouldn't see each other any more." Napoleon was now opening the car door, and he wasn't facing Gena. He was getting inside the car.

_Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! He did **not** just dump me. I do the dumping!_ Gena fumed.

"But I'll give you a ride home. Come on, you know you like my sweet ride." He put the keys into the ignition and started the car.

"Fine!" Gena said, not sure of what to say to save her dignity. She angrily walked around the car and got in the passenger side. "But don't take me home. Take me to the coffee house." She crossed her arms over her chest, with a frown on her face.

"To the coffee house!" Napoleon screamed, throwing an action figure tied to a string out the window.

Samantha was still at the coffee house, still open mouthed in horror at the terrible favor she just did for Gena. She was now sitting on the sofa, staring into her cup, now filled with cold coffee. Just then she glanced up, and from the window she saw Napoleon and Gena get out of a car.

_This is my chance!_ She thought. _I can still do something._

She quickly hid behind the counter.

"Well Napoleon, this is-" Gena was just about to say _goodbye_ when Samantha popped out of nowhere.

"Napoleon, Napoleon!" Samantha rushed over to him and gave him a giant hug. "Napoleon, I love you!" Samantha was planning to pretend to love him so that Gena would get made and hurt. She still didn't know that Napoleon and Gena already broke up.

"I think about you every day!" she continued. "I only said things wouldn't work because I was scared, scared that wouldn't love me too!" Samantha dramatically placed her hand over her heart, remembering her acting classes.

Napoleon looked at Samantha, then at Gena, then at Samantha again. "Sweet!" He exclaimed. "Now I've got _two_ hot babes to talk to online all day!"

"Pffft! Yeah right! I'm out of here losers!" Gena stormed out of the coffee house.

"What?" Samantha asked, her acting gone out the window.

"Oh, we just broke up. She's way to lame for me. She doesn't even like tots. Gosh!"

_Crap!_ Samantha thought.

"But one babe is good enough for me." Napoleon said, taking Samantha into his arms and gazing into her eyes.

"Um…." Samantha didn't know what to say. She never liked this dork! But as she stood there in his now big and strong arms, and she gazed back into his eyes, she realized she could actually fall in like with him. Maybe not love, but definitely like. She hadn't even notice how handsome he was when she proclaimed her "love" for him. She was just thinking about getting back at Gena for being so, so…Samantha didn't even know why she hated Gena anymore. Oh she felt so stupid! But what was done was done, and she was ready to start over. With Napoleon right there with her.

"Sweet." She said to Napoleon with her first real smile in years. And she meant it.


End file.
